I was talking to someone the other day and she was describing her overweight friend. She said that when she has gone to visit her friend, she has been stressing to her friend how important it is for her to lose weight. She has told her friend all about how the weight is affecting her health and has even told her friend why her food choices are not good. She went on to explain to me that she can not understand why her friend has not "gotten it" yet. I believe that she thought what she was doing was a good thing. However, as she was walking out the door, I said, "Do NOT say any of that stuff to her again!" She stopped in her tracks. She said, "What?" I explained that when you are overweight and someone, who is much skinnier than you are, is telling you that you are doing something wrong- eating wrong, not exercising, etc.- you become more determined than ever to NOT do what they want you to do. I explained that after she left her friend, it would not have surprised me at all, if her friend ate an entire pie or way more of anything than she normally would have. It would not have surprised me, if her friend sat for hours at a time in a chair or laid in her bed and stared at the television much longer than she normally would have. (That was my normal reaction to pressure from others about my weight.) I explained that, until her friend is READY to change her habits and behaviors for HERSELF, all of that talking that she has been doing will only cause her friend to gain more weight.
I realize that it is hard for people, who have not had a significant weight problem, to understand this concept, but some overweight people, like me, believe that they are beautiful just the way they are! When they get dressed every day, they look in the mirror and they see beauty. There are other people in the world, like my husband, who also believe that overweight people are beautiful just the way they are. There are overweight people in the world, like me, who do not have health problems. There are overweight people in the world, like me, who have never experienced prejudice or bullying as a result of their weight. I know that those concepts are pretty foreign to a lot of people whose only experience with overweight people is what they see on the extreme weight shows on tv- people who are depressed, get picked on all the time, have terrible self esteem, have a lot of health problems, and can't seem to find love. While it is not easy being overweight in this world, it is not all that difficult either for some.
As I explained in The Beginning, I was very happy with my life. I was not looking to change my weight or anything in my life when I started walking. However, once I started walking and started seeing the weight coming off, I became addicted to walking and decided for myself, by myself, to begin making more changes. I also decided that I would not force my views on anyone else and would not even share my viewpoint unless I was asked. It took me almost a year before I started writing my blog. The only reason that I started then was because people began asking me questions and wanting more and more information.
This blog is only for people who are interested. This is not a way to influence a bunch of people who are not ready to make changes in their lives. When people feel forced to make changes, they will eventually rebel against those changes. It has to be THEIR idea and in their own time. I will not criticize others or their choices. If asked, I will explain why I would or would not choose for myself whatever they have chosen, but I will not criticize. I will be supportive. I will be supportive of their decisions, what ever they happen to be. I will also continue on my path and, if my example leads others to make decisions to help themselves, then I will be ellated!!
You can also provide support to overweight individuals. When you are talking to your overweight friends and family, do not mention their weight, their food choices, their clothing size, etc. Just be supportive of their decisions, whatever they are, and continue to be a good role model and example for them. Eventually, through your actions for yourself, your friend or family member may decide to ask you questions and may decide to follow in your footsteps. If he or she doesn't, that is ok, too. You will still be a good friend!
No comments:
Post a Comment